Women Who Eat on Trains

Whilst tucking into salmon onigiri, plump triangular package of nori wrapped sushi rice and salmon deliciousness bought from Waterloo Station on way home last night, read Evening Standard news story of protest on Circle line by ladies objecting to the ‘Women Who Eat on Trains’ Facebook page put up by persons unknown who have been photographing ladies stuffing their faces on London tube trains as attempt to shame them in public. Gist of protest is that travelling ladies have right to stuff faces without being subjected to indignity of having mug shots on Facebook. Personally, am all in favour of women eating on trains as long as woman is me.

Fortunately no one bonkers enough to photograph me. Only in London though, and possibly Japan, though suspect not enough room on bullet trains to unwrap onigiri without elbowing fellow commuters in eyeballs, would people be eating sushi whilst commuting. Also suspect, even if not case, either Japanese ladies have full oriental tea ceremony whilst travelling rather than glugging takeaway cappuccino in polystyrene cup, or else far too polite to eat whilst travelling.

Anyway, here are the top things I like to scoff as a commuting Woman Who Eats on Trains:

1. Cadbury’s Dairy Milk Chocolate. Good for all occasions.
2. Walker’s Cheese and Onion crisps. The best crisps in the world. Shouldn’t be eaten for breakfast.
3. A Kit-Kat. Can serve as breakfast, lunch or dinner.
4. Fries, ditto except for the breakfast when should be accompanied by red-eye coffee, bacon and beans – not yet obtainable at London stations.
5. Any croissant except the plain and almond ones.
6. Big Mac. Utterly delicious and utterly messy.

Read story again in Metro when travelling to work next morning. After running into elderly
chap polishing shoes on train, sit down near woman applying full make up. Additional woman get
on at Wimbledon and apply full make up. Consider if would ever have nerve to apply full make up
whilst travelling. Smother face in Macdonald’s mayo and decorate coat with slices of dropped
tomato and gherkin in full public view, yes. Put on foundation, powder, blusher, eyeliner and
primer? I don’t think so.

Figure that if Women Who Apply Make Up on Trains Facebook site ever get set up, protests will be a
lot more strenuous than for the ‘Women Who Eat’ one, especially if pre and post make up photos
put up.

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