Get train from Clapham Junction, after picking up some items from Sainsbury’s. Get on half empty train – 13 empty seats around me. Oriental-looking woman with rucksack sits down seat but one from me, am now crushed into train wall. Woman starts sniffing. Start crunching prawn crackers in cultural stand-off. Woman ups game by taking off one shoe revealing bare white foot. Stop eating prawn crackers.
Woman take out white sock from rucksack and stick it on bare white foot. Sniffs. Am immobilised with shock. Woman then take off other shoe, pull out another white sock and stick it on other foot. Now utterly incapable of eating prawn crackers.