Are You Sure I’m Not Jackie Onassis?

Another beautiful morning, though frosty underfoot. Shattered after long day yesterday, miss train. Trudge down Station Path to Esher station,  exchange greetings with cheery robin dotting about on path and purchase tasty buttered sultana scone from coffee vendor on station – no need for coffee as have managed to arrange home catering prior to leaving house.

All well with world.  Scoff delicious scone on platform whilst awaiting train.  Merry trilling high above in trees on embankment and in woods below.  Drop scone crumbs and sultanas for feathered friends although not sure if bicarb and baking powder actually good for tiny systems.  Observe thrush creeping stealthily through dead leaves on embankment side of platform railings, and then tossing leaves in air like pancakes.

Train arrives, remove crumbs from scarf, get seat, get Metro, and read ‘Rush Hour Crush’, the messaging area for love-lorn and shy commuters, where eyes fall on:

‘To the elegant Jackie Onassis (and Anne Hathaway) lookalike on the Esher to Waterloo train each morning.  I hope that one day our eyes will meet once again.  Will you give me a chance to impress you? Richmond Boy’.

Cogitate deeply.

Am not brunette.

Am wearing berry-coloured coat and emerald scarf that looks like dead green cat.

Am carrying malachite green canvas shopper purchased from Morrison’s supermarket.

Age range of Rush Hour Crush confusingly wide.  Anne Hathaway in 20s. Jackie Onassis, I believe, dead.  When alive, in 60s. If Richmond Boy is remembering Jackie Onassis in her prime, i.e in 30s, suggests Richmond Boy must be in 90s.

Unlikely to be commuting at that age. But mention of Anne Hathaway suggestive of youngish bloke, on trend.  With wide ranging taste in women.  Could be bloke in 90s pretending to be bloke in 30s. Also, deeply suspicious of men who call themselves ‘Boy’. Reminiscent of Happy Valley big game hunters.

Mind flicks back over men whose eyes have met mine whilst commuting from Esher to Waterloo.  Yesterday, exchanged glance with bloke in puffa jacket and college scarf.  But before that, a few weeks ago, there was an incident. An exchange of glances between Post Traumatic Commuter and Gorgeous Older Commuter. Hoped at time to be exchanging further glances.

What Richmond got to do with it?

Richmond on completely different train line.  To get to Richmond, Richmond Boy would have to get off train at Clapham Junction and get another train to Richmond. Maybe Richmond  Boy work in Richmond. Or Richmond Boy live in Richmond, in which case, presence on Esher to Waterloo train not easily understood.

Wipe scone crumbs from face and leave train at Vauxhall, still pondering.  Study face in washroom mirror when get to work to find possible Jackie Onassis/Anne Hathaway similarities.

Google pictures of Jackie Onassis and Anne Hathaway at lunchtime.

Accept that only share eyebrow similarity with Jackie Onassis.  Also note that Jackie Onassis and Anne Hathaway look totally dissimilar.  Sigh and go and purchase jacket potato.

At midnight, remember have seen lissom brunette Jackie Onassis/Anne Hathaway look-alike myself at Esher station.

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